it's a love story {part 7}

New here? Don't worry! You can catch up with parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6 :)


Part Seven - Some Truths

If you're not a fan of long love stories, I'm sorry, but A. This is my blog and I'll be detailed if I want to, and B. I think the beauty of the story is in the details :) If I gave a five-sentence condensed version, it might sound just like someone else's story. It's the details that make it ours :) That's why this series is turning out to be so long :)

So six installments later, we had met, realized we were both crushing on each other, and had finally had our first kiss.

After we had our first kiss, things took off real fast. We started spending all of our time together, and texting when we weren't together. The semester had just ended, but since Russ had a seasonal job at FedEx, he could only take off four days to go home to Idaho for Christmas. Since my family lives in Orem (in Utah, where we were both going to school), we were both still around Provo, so that meant we still got to spend time together. And, after dating for only a week or two (and still not officially bf/gf), Russ met my entire family. 


This picture was taken that Christmas, so this is everyone he met.
I'm the youngest, and at this point in time, all of my siblings were married, and three of my four siblings lived out of state. So it was actually pretty crazy that every single one of them was going to be in town, and that they all got to meet Russ.

But I loved every minute of it :)

I had been the only unmarried one for a few years (technically, only one year, but before my brother got married, he was on his mission, so he wasn't really in the picture, leaving me with three married siblings), so it was really nice to have someone for once. And he was a great someone to have :)


We went to temple square right after he met everyone.
He was with me when we went to pick people up from the airport, even!
Looking so dang young!
He fit right in with my family. He was quieter than my family might have imagined for me (quieter than I might have imagined for myself, too, I suppose), but he was good for me and to me. He was so sweet :)

Things were going great . . . except that I still had a missionary, and Russ didn't know about him. I knew I had to tell him, but I didn't know exactly what I would say, because I didn't know exactly what having a missionary meant to me at this time. 

So on the night before Russ went home to Boise for his four days of Christmas break, after we'd spent the whole day together and had a great time, I told him. 

I told him that I had dated this guy off and on for three years, and that he was now on his mission, and so I didn't know if anything could really happen for us (me and Russ us) for eighteen more months. 

He was a little bit blindsided. But he told me that it wasn't like he was planning our wedding or anything--far from it since we had only been dating less than three weeks at this time. But it did make things a little weird. We talked for an hour or so more, but things were a little off. I expected this, and that's why I told him right before he went home for a few days. I figured it would be good for him to have a little bit of space after hearing those news.

So he went home, and I was all set to Skype with my missionary on Christmas Day, which I did. And it was so good to talk to him. It was like he had never left, and like we were closer than ever before. It was so good, that after that Skype call, I spent most of the day thinking, "I've got to end things with Russ, because I'll only end up breaking his heart when I choose my missionary." 

But when I wasn't thinking that, I was thinking, "Why isn't Russ texting me more?" He was giving me space, and I felt his absence more than I wanted to admit.

And when he got back to Provo, and we went back to hanging out with each other (and with my family), I couldn't make myself give him up. Every time I thought about ending things, I couldn't. I was completely drawn to two different people, and I didn't know what I was going to do! 

Come back next TUESDAY to see how I figured out my life!


**ashleynicole

Comments

  1. Hi! Just found your blog and am love reading about your love story!! But quick question - what does it mean to have a missionary?

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    Replies
    1. So happy to have you! :)

      To answer your question . . . in my church, when boys are 18 or 19, they leave on a "mission." A mission lasts for two years (for boys; girls can choose to go for 18 months, but it is not a duty for a girl like it is for a boy), and for those two years, missionaries leave to live somewhere else, have very limited contact with friends and family (weekly letters + two Skype or phone calls per year, on Mother's Day and Christmas), and they share what we believe about God with others. So when I say I "had a missionary," I mean that the boy I had dated all through high school was on his mission. There was no official commitment between me and this missionary while he was on his mission, but I had always thought that I would marry the missionary, so I felt conflicted about having strong feelings for both guys. By telling Russ that I "had a missionary," I was basically telling him I wasn't sure whether or not my heart was available to give away just yet. I hope all that makes sense! Feel free to ask any more questions if you have any! :)

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