book review: the happiness project

A couple months ago, I came across this blog which recommended a few books. One was called The Happiness Project.

I loved this book. When I first started reading it, I wasn't sure it was what I had bargained for, but now, two months after finishing it, I still can't stop bringing it up in conversations that have any sort of depth.

It's not a novel--more of a self-help kind of book. I like novels, but I really prefer books that help me think about how I could make my life better, which this book does well.

Gretchen Rubin (the author) sort of prefaces the whole thing by saying that her life was pretty good; she didn't really have any complaints. But she hypothesized that she could probably be more proactive about generating more happiness in her life. Hence, the Happiness Project was born.

Most people set New Year's Resolutions in January, only to break them a week or a month later because they've just set too many high-reaching goals. Rubin's idea was to break things down. For each month, she had a topic (like work, money, or marriage) she would focus on. Within each topic, she had smaller, more specific goals. So, for instance, under her Marriage category, she had goals like quit nagging, give proofs of love, and leave things unsaid. (For a full list of Rubin's resolutions, click here.)

She would work on that specific category for the month, and then when the next month came, she would try to continue being good with her previous goals, while adding on a new set of goals. By December, she was working on her goals from the whole year, but because she had broken them down into smaller bites, it was much more manageable.

I really enjoyed this book because it made me want to work on setting goals in this manner. But I also liked some of the main points she made.

She talked about how there are two parts to increasing your happiness: increase the things that add to your happiness, and decrease the things that take away from your happiness.

So if crafting makes you happy, one way to increase your happiness would be to dedicate more time to crafting--maybe an hour per week or even just per month.

And if being stressed because you've procrastinated makes you unhappy, perhaps you could make goals that help you use time more effectively so that you don't procrastinate quite as much.

She also talked about the four stages for enjoying an event: anticipation, savoring the moment, expression, and reflection.

So when you have something exciting coming up, let yourself anticipate it! Anticipation is half the fun, right? And then, when you're experiencing the happy event, don't be thinking about other things (especially not thoughts like Oh, no! This happy event is almost over!). Instead, think about the moment, and savor it. Then express--share your pleasure with others. Talk about the event or participate in the event with others that you care about. And finally, reflect on the happy memories that you created during the event.

I just thought that was cool because she gave words (and credit) to my feelings--I love planning events, sometimes more than I end up loving the event itself. I've thought maybe that's a bad thing, but if I can get joy out of just planning and anticipating something, why not pounce on that? I also find myself saying very often that an event was really fun, even when I'm not sure if I actually felt that way or not. Oh, well. I think it's okay to look back on events through rose-colored glasses.

And finally, she talked about how one big part of happiness is continual growth. We can't be happy if we just stay exactly as we are, forever. That's why we have to set goals, and seek to be more than we are right now. Because we can do it, if we choose it. And by choosing it, we consequently choose greater happiness. And this was a point that just really resonated with me :)


I haven't started a project of my own yet, but the book has definitely made me start forming thoughts about what I want to do and how I want to change my life. Now I've just got to start making a real plan and putting it into action. So what do you think? Are you inspired to start a Happiness Project of your own yet?