it's a . . .

GIRL!

Finding Out
I was just a bucket of excitement on Sunday as we headed to our ultrasound. We got to go in on a Sunday because Uncle Rick is an OB and said we should come in when the office was empty. It was so nice! And so funny every time we told people we were "finding out on Sunday." My favorite response was from a woman who is a Young Women leader with me -- She got this worried face, and after I told her how we were getting to go on a Sunday, she looked relieved and told me that she had thought, "Umm . . . where are you going?! This sounds sketchy! Ashley -- Doctor's offices aren't open on Sundays!" It was just funny :)

I've been very open throughout the whole pregnancy that I thought this baby was a girl. But on the morning of the ultrasound, I got kind of worried that it would be a boy and I would somehow be disappointed! I knew that I would love the baby no matter what, but it was like my brain was wired to think "girl," and I knew I'd have to re-wire it to think "boy," if it was a boy. So I spent some time on Sunday morning browsing "boy nurseries" on Pinterest, and that sufficiently pumped me up for a boy.

Though I had thought "girl" the whole time, when it finally came down to being on the table getting the ultrasound, I had NO idea. In fact, the next day my sister-in-law asked me if I had been surprised, and I was thinking, "I would have been surprised either way, because at that point I had nooooo clue!"

So we got to the office and Uncle Rick started moving the wand around on my stomach. I was happy to see that baby was moving! I freak out a little before every ultrasound that something has gone wrong, so I'm always happy to see that all is still well :) Uncle Rick said stuff like "There's the head . . . and that's the spine . . . those are the legs . . ." And I saw nothing haha. There were a few times when I could distinguish what he was saying, but most of the time, I was like, "Ummmm . . . if you say so!" When he finally got to the point of telling us the gender, he didn't come out and say, "It's a boy/girl!" He said more ambiguous stuff like, "You don't see those three white lines on a boy." So when I looked a bit confused, he typed on the screen "NO PEEPEE." Hahaha Russ and I laughed about it several more times throughout the day :)

After finding out we were having a baby girl, Uncle Rick showed us her head again and we saw that her hands were up by her face -- that's about the only recognizable thing I saw on the ultrasound that day -- and it was so cute!! I loved thinking of her little tiny face and little tiny hands and just AH! It's a GIRL! :)

The Reveal
Russ and I decided a few months ago what we wanted to do to reveal. At some point, maybe before we were even pregnant, we passed Build-a-Bear Workshop in the mall and I told Russ how much I had loved that store as a kid, and how fun it would be to build a bear together! But I also acknowledged that it seemed silly to spend $25+ on a stuffed animal as an adult. So then I had the brilliant idea -- "let's make one for our future baby!" And we realized it would be a great way to reveal, as well, since we could make a girl animal for a baby girl or a boy animal for a baby boy :)

It was fun building a cute little bear with Russ! The person helping us treated us just like we were all the other 5-year-olds in the shop and I loved it. I can't wait to see our little girl snuggle her little bear! Which we gave the name of Little Love, since that has been our baby's nickname so far. But now she has a real name, so her nickname can be passed on to her teddy bear :)

The second part of the reveal was some pink cake. We had that cake for the first time on our Valentine's Day date, and we pretty much died and went to heaven because it is SO GOOD! (Butter cake from California Pizza Kitchen) We talked about maybe just having the doc write down gender on a piece of paper and then taking that paper to CPK and asking if they could dye the cake pink or blue, but we weren't sure if they would do it or not. In the end, we decided since Uncle Rick was telling us gender, we just wanted to know right then, and we decided we could just add some sprinkles ourselves :)

The cake did not disappoint. In fact, Russ loved it so much that he kept encroaching on my half! What a turkey :)

Keeping it to Ourselves
So kind of last minute (as in, a few days before the ultrasound), Russ and I decided we weren't going to tell anyone the gender early. Like, we told family we were pregnant before we told close friends, and we told close friends before we told Facebook; but when it came to gender, we decided nobody needed to know early. Everyone would be happy either way, and family and close friends already got their preferential treatment in finding out about the pregnancy early. Everyone would find out gender at the same time on Facebook or Instagram.

We had a few reasons for this -- the day we told all of our family about the pregnancy, it was exhausting! It literally took all day long, and while it was a day of joy, it was also just exhausting. We also started to have some people asking about finding out before other people, and idk if it was pregnancy hormones or what, but it triggered the rebel in me and made me want to be like, "No! You'll get told when I say you'll get told and you'll deal with it and you'll like it!" Maybe a bit harsh, but that's how I felt. And although this next one wasn't a reason, it turned out to be my favorite part about not telling people for 30ish hours -- I loved that it was just mine and Russ's for one day. Our little secret, our little joy. We whispered words about "our daughter" and "our little girl," and it was just lovely :)

Unfortunately, our approach didn't make everyone happy. Between the time we found out gender and announced on Facebook, Russ and I had two dinners with my parents, one of which Brandon and Amy were also at. I also Face Timed one of my sisters and exchanged texts with three sister-in-laws. Aka, there was plenty of opportunity to tell a bunch of family* early. But we had decided what we wanted to do, and we stuck to it. I feel like everyone kind of felt offended that we wouldn't tell early. Which I understand. Were the roles reversed, I can guarantee that I would have been a bit offended. But in the end, Russ and I decided we wanted to handle things this way, and it wasn't meant to slight anyone. We may or may not choose this secretive, non-preferential treatment route again in the future, but if we do, I think we'll try to do more to let our families know that it's not a reflection of how we feel about them vs. how we feel about Facebook friends we don't even talk to. It's just us deciding what we want to do, and us needing other people to respect our decisions about parenting. Even if it's as small a decision as a gender reveal.

It became really hard to feel guilted by a bunch of family members! But one thing I do have to say is that I was grateful to have Russ to turn to so he could assure me that it was our decision and it was okay to choose something that didn't please everyone else. I really super love that man, and I'm so happy to have him by my side now and throughout all eternity :)

*Not everyone was upset at our approach, so just because I mentioned certain family members above does not mean that they were necessarily offended. In fact, I'm not even necessarily sure of who was offended and who was not. I was just trying to illustrate how much interaction we had with family members over those ~30 hours.

Our Baby Girl
We are so EXCITED for a baby girl! Personally, I can't wait to buy dresses and bows and other girly frilly things for our little lady :) I'm also excited to start working on the nursery more now that I have a direction to go in! Basically, we just can't wait to have our little girl join our little family and make it even more complete!! :)


**ashleynicole