rushley & crew

Lately I've been thinking about insecurities and how they affect the world. I'm pretty sure everyone has some insecurities, at least on some level. Personally, I am pretty confident in who I am; I can acknowledge my faults without letting them define me, and I definitely know how to acknowledge my gifts and talents. But despite my confidence, I also have insecurities. I'm often afraid to start up conversations with people because I wonder if they'll like me or if they'll just think I'm weird, and then even if they're nice to me, I might wonder if they're just being polite or if they genuinely like me. Why is stuff like that so much easier as a kid? Kids somehow know how to make friends so easily and they don't worry about what other people think--worrying about what other people think is a poor side effect of growing up, if you ask me. Sometimes I take a step back and realize that everyone probably does what I do--that everyone probably spends ...

Russ and I have been trying to get pregnant for 16 months now. 16 very long months. We've done one fertility test on Russ, which came back fine. I kind of refuse to believe there is anything wrong. Like, I know it obviously isn't as easy for us as many other couples, but I believe it's due to trying at the wrong time for a while (because I don't fit into the normal 28-day-cycle, therefore I do not ovulate around day 14 or anywhere near it), possibly due to me not eating super healthy all the time, possibly due to some sort of imbalance which is aided by my diabetes, possibly something I haven't even thought of. I honestly in my heart do not believe there is anything incurably wrong with me, I just haven't quite figured out how to tweak everything yet. But anyway, now that the lowdown is all out there, here's what I really want to say: It's getting really hard to see baby announcements. I want to feel happy for people, because a baby is always a happy t...